Post by Dr. Boskonovich on Apr 25, 2007 0:53:05 GMT -5
Cyber connections can be fun, but how do you know when and if you should end online romance? Most relationship experts advise that you should enter any online relationship with caution and exit them with even more care. Why? There is a different type of emotional attachment that some individuals experience with online romance, and some individuals connect on a highly personal level behind the seemingly intimate and anonymous nature of internet communication. Knowing the right way to end online romance as well as whether the timing is appropriate for a breakup is essential to complete as healthy a disconnection as possible. Here are ten signs it’s time to end an online romance:
1. Discomfort: If the connection with a cyber companion becomes uncomfortable at a level that leaves you concerned for your physical safety or anxious to the point you can not function without fear, regret, or loathe, it is likely time to end an online romance to restore your comfort level. This does not make you cruel. You simply must go with your gut instincts!
2. Anger: If either you or your cyber companion is excessively angry most of the time, the relationship is not a healthy one. Minor venting is normal with any relationship, including an online romance, but any connection whose result is constant bickering should be reflected upon and likely dissolved.
3. Fear: If your cyber romance contains any level of fear or danger, especially with defined threats, you should definitely consider ending the relationship. We are equipped with a fear response for a reason, and anyone who makes us feel afraid should be avoided until proven to be harmless. Many feel an online romance gives them a level of security because they can hide behind anonymity, but anytime fear becomes a part of your online romance, an illusion of privacy might not be enough.
4. Time Constraints: Relationships can’t thrive without a little personal time. If time for the relationship has dwindled, consider your cyber partner may have moved on, and it is likely time that you should as well.
5. Lies: A high level of lies and indiscrepancies should be considered a definite red flag for any relationship, including an online relationship. Liars thrive on the world they invent, seldom with any thought to the damage this behavior might do to those who care about them. Though many online relationships are based on some level of fantasy, blatant lies and misleading information literally crush relationships and can destroy lives.
6. Stalking: Following your activities online or attempting to spy on you personally when that connection is unwelcome are all signs of stalking that should be addressed and discouraged. Online relationships simply must adhere to the boundaries decided upon by both parties of the relationship. Stalking in an online relationship is definitely a deal breaker.
7. Controlling Behavior: Like stalking, attempting to dictate activities and attitudes is grounds for a breakup of any online relationship. Controlling behavior includes but is not limited to telling who you are permitted to converse with, where you are allowed to go, and when you should be online.
8. Unwelcome Personal Comments: If your online relationship conversations suddenly get increasingly personal beyond the boundaries set in the relationship’s inception, you may consider ending your online relationship. The level of personal connection should be dictated by both parties, not one individual or another.
9. Excessive Questions: Asking several questions is a great way to get to know someone, but when the questions become excessive and annoying, it’s a definite sign the relationship might be in trouble; especially when the questions are either meaningless or repeats of questions already asked. This is a sign of either boredom or monopolization of personal time.
10. Unwelcome Invitation to Take the Relationship to Real Life: If both members of a cyber romance welcome the idea of taking the relationship to a “real life” level, that’s fine, but when having an offline relationship is an upsetting or unwanted development that either party continues to push towards, it is likely that you should consider ending the online relationship. In that situation, both members are not on the same page, and therefore the situation should be dissolved for the good of both individuals involved.
If your online relationship is crumbling, there are many reasons why you might want to breakup, but if any of those reasons are the ten described in this article, remember that all relationships, both online and in real life, have a natural cycle. Some relationships are simply not meant to continue. If you feel your relationship might have a foreseeable future, perhaps you should address any concerns you might have with your partner before matters get unsalvageable, but keep in mind that you should never stay in a relationship that puts you in any danger, makes you unhappy, or makes you uncomfortable. Good luck.
1. Discomfort: If the connection with a cyber companion becomes uncomfortable at a level that leaves you concerned for your physical safety or anxious to the point you can not function without fear, regret, or loathe, it is likely time to end an online romance to restore your comfort level. This does not make you cruel. You simply must go with your gut instincts!
2. Anger: If either you or your cyber companion is excessively angry most of the time, the relationship is not a healthy one. Minor venting is normal with any relationship, including an online romance, but any connection whose result is constant bickering should be reflected upon and likely dissolved.
3. Fear: If your cyber romance contains any level of fear or danger, especially with defined threats, you should definitely consider ending the relationship. We are equipped with a fear response for a reason, and anyone who makes us feel afraid should be avoided until proven to be harmless. Many feel an online romance gives them a level of security because they can hide behind anonymity, but anytime fear becomes a part of your online romance, an illusion of privacy might not be enough.
4. Time Constraints: Relationships can’t thrive without a little personal time. If time for the relationship has dwindled, consider your cyber partner may have moved on, and it is likely time that you should as well.
5. Lies: A high level of lies and indiscrepancies should be considered a definite red flag for any relationship, including an online relationship. Liars thrive on the world they invent, seldom with any thought to the damage this behavior might do to those who care about them. Though many online relationships are based on some level of fantasy, blatant lies and misleading information literally crush relationships and can destroy lives.
6. Stalking: Following your activities online or attempting to spy on you personally when that connection is unwelcome are all signs of stalking that should be addressed and discouraged. Online relationships simply must adhere to the boundaries decided upon by both parties of the relationship. Stalking in an online relationship is definitely a deal breaker.
7. Controlling Behavior: Like stalking, attempting to dictate activities and attitudes is grounds for a breakup of any online relationship. Controlling behavior includes but is not limited to telling who you are permitted to converse with, where you are allowed to go, and when you should be online.
8. Unwelcome Personal Comments: If your online relationship conversations suddenly get increasingly personal beyond the boundaries set in the relationship’s inception, you may consider ending your online relationship. The level of personal connection should be dictated by both parties, not one individual or another.
9. Excessive Questions: Asking several questions is a great way to get to know someone, but when the questions become excessive and annoying, it’s a definite sign the relationship might be in trouble; especially when the questions are either meaningless or repeats of questions already asked. This is a sign of either boredom or monopolization of personal time.
10. Unwelcome Invitation to Take the Relationship to Real Life: If both members of a cyber romance welcome the idea of taking the relationship to a “real life” level, that’s fine, but when having an offline relationship is an upsetting or unwanted development that either party continues to push towards, it is likely that you should consider ending the online relationship. In that situation, both members are not on the same page, and therefore the situation should be dissolved for the good of both individuals involved.
If your online relationship is crumbling, there are many reasons why you might want to breakup, but if any of those reasons are the ten described in this article, remember that all relationships, both online and in real life, have a natural cycle. Some relationships are simply not meant to continue. If you feel your relationship might have a foreseeable future, perhaps you should address any concerns you might have with your partner before matters get unsalvageable, but keep in mind that you should never stay in a relationship that puts you in any danger, makes you unhappy, or makes you uncomfortable. Good luck.
